One: Ventura. When I'm in Ventura, I'm home. It's where I grew up, it's where I know everyone and everything is so familiar to me. I feel like I'm most myself when I'm here. I was always kind of the leader of the group, planning things, making things happen. I was told by most of my friends that after I moved away everyone stopped hanging out with each other as much because no one bothered to get together anymore and do stuff together like I always enjoyed doing. It's a sad thing really, but at the same time, I'm glad that I had such a positive impact on my friend's lives.
Two: Online. I actually feel like I'm quite similar online as I am in real life. I don't generally say things online that I wouldn't say to someone in reality, despite things such as "internet courage". I write my blogs how I would speak them in a conversation, and I post pictures on tumblr that I would frame and put on my bedroom walls. I feel very much myself online.
Three: Northern Utah. I'm not so much the leader of the group here as just part of something. I was part of something when I hung out at Shelby, Jen, and Shannon's apartment and Bre would come over too. I was part of something at the boy's house every weekend night and the theatre bunch would get together and hang out. I was just one of the Weber kids that could hang out and have fun.
Four: Southern Utah. It felt like a temporary home at first, but now that I'm staying for another year, it's growing on me. I've finally made some friends that I feel comfortable enough to call up and say "hey let's hang out". I'm finally just comfortable here, but not like I own the place, so to speak, which is kind of what I felt like in Ventura. I'm quieter, still not sure about whether I should always say what's on my mind or let it pass without expressing it in words.
I'm always like that at first, I seem very shy. But I'm not. Really, I'm just listening and observing, seeing how others react to conversations and the types of things that are said so that I know what I can and can't say around particular people.
I just like to listen a lot rather than talk.
But when I have something to say, I'll say it.
Later days.
Song of the Day: "Horizons" by An Horse
Film of the Day: Stand By Me (1986)
facts:
one . I named my first dog Rilo, after Rilo Kiley.
two . I have seen every single episode of Smart Guy.
I have the same thing of being leader in one place and not in the other. At home, I'm usually the organizer, but once we were together I'm fairly quiet, just another member of the group. Here at school I'm the organizer, the coordinator, the loud-mouth, the comedian, the decision maker, and the 'glue' of the group. It always makes breaks kind of strange, because I get to go back home and I have to readjust to not being the full-out leader. But I like it. The contrast is nice.
ReplyDeleteI actually am shy at first though. I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing, so I choose silence instead. But like you, I study people and try to figure out the right way to act.
And I admire your having seen all of the Smart Guy episodes ... I used to love that show! =]