List

Things that I don't like/understand that so many others seem to:

Lost

Johnny Cash

The Phantom Tollbooth

I know there are more. I'll add to this list when I think of them. Until then,

later days.

Elephant.

I literally rented Elephant with the intention of watching it without ever knowing what it was actually about, which I don't generally do. Little did I know that it would end up being one of the most incredibly thought provoking films I've ever seen. It was a film with so much to say, while at the same time having so little dialog to say it. It was filled with long, drawn out shots, which helped lure me in to the story, of which is mostly happening withing a matter minutes. The repetition of the shots from various angles keeps it interesting, and at the same time keeps the film an appropriate length.

At this point in time I do not actually know why the movie is called Elephant. I'll have to think about it for a while, but I have some ideas. I'm sure I'll read up on it in a bit, but for now, I think I'm meant to just take it all in and think. Think of what happened, how it happened, what led it to happen.

All in all, my mind was just blown away by the intensity of that film. The thing is, it all hits you in the face within the last 10 minutes of the movie and you're just kind of...stunned. At least I was.

The fact that I'm reading a book about the same sort of thing makes it more apparent that these sorts of things are, in fact, real, though nobody ever wants them to be, or thinks that they will be until they happen.

If you have no idea why I'm saying what I'm saying, see Elephant, written and directed by Gus Van Sant. But be warned, it is not for the everyday movie-watcher. It takes a while to get into it, but there are so many great aspects of how it was put together, things you have to look for. Also, the actual story is quite a serious one, and can be a surprisingly emotional subject.

But I do indeed recommend it if you're in the mood for something though provoking/a little bit depressing. Believe it or not, there are such times.

Books of the Day: Give A Boy A Gun by Todd Strasser and Shooter by Walter Dean Myers

Film of the Day: Elephant (2003)

Song of the Day: "Mad World" by Gary Jules

Cool People Don't Have Blog Titles

My ceramics teachers tells us funny stories. I quite enjoy my classes because of it.

Tonight I was told about some people playing indoor soccer at the Church (which apparently happens every Thursday, so that's pretty cool) and I decided to join them. I always forget how much I miss playing soccer every time I play it again. I miss it so much. I miss playing field hockey too, but not quite as much. I was equally good at playing keeper for both sports, but I think I liked soccer more because I only had to wear gloves and not all the other padding that's needed for field hockey.

I wish I had OBOs, like in this randomly Google'd picture, but alas, they were quite expensive, and I wasn't quite that committed. I did have my own sticks and helmet though. Still have all my sticks. I have...four, I think. My first wooden stick up to my favorite Gray's carbon and graphite stick. Maybe I do miss this as much as soccer.

In other news, one of my bowls went missing from the drying room in ceramics. Even when I carve my name into my work, some d-bag has to be lazy and take someone else's hard work and try and pass it off as theirs. Gahh.

I saw Legion today. It was...well, it could have been better. The acting at least, but just for a few people, not the whole cast. Paul Bettany was effing brilliant, but when is he not? Anyway, all in all, it was a good film, though definitely disturbing at points. The story called for that though. The whole idea of the movie is kind of intense and crazy.

And this is where I end.

Later days.

Song of the Day: "Lovefool" by The Cardigans. Because who didn't love that song at one point or another? And they're still a good band to listen to these days.

Film of the Day: Legion (2010)

Google Chrome Kicks Internet Explorer's Ass

Basically. The fact that I now have a better browser almost lets me forget the fact that I have a PC. Who am I kidding, that was a huge lie. I will never forget that I have a PC and not a mac.

But it is better than before.

As you may have noticed to the right, I'm reading Shooter by Walter Dean Myers, who also writes Monster, which has been one of my favorite books for years now. I decided to give this book a go. It's interestingly written as interviews from several different people. I'm only about 1/3 of the way done, but I like it, though it is a bit depressing at times. But it's very...real.

In other book news, I'm fairly sure that I convinced four people in my YA Lit class to read Looking For Alaska. We were in groups talking about the books that we read this week for our authors that we're focusing on for the class (obviously mine is John Green), and no one else in my group liked the books that they read. I proceeded to talk about my book with much praise, and they were all impressed and interested. It made me happy.

Tomorrow night there is an activity for the young adults at my church. We are having a salsa party! I get to make salsa and take it, and we're going to all compare recipes and eat chips and salsa and other snack foods. It's kind of going to be amazing.

In TV news...Heroes. This is by far the best season at this current point in time. It's just so...gahh. Good. It's good. Also, Big Love season 3 and Weeds season 5 have recently come out on DVD. I will be renting them starting tomorrow, starting with Big Love, because I watched half of Weeds season 5 this summer when I was staying at my Grandmas in California and could use DVR to record shows. I don't have that luxury at home :/ If I did I would be watching television way too much, so no worries.

Later days.

Song of the Day: "Bulletproof" by La Roux. I like the regular version, but I also enjoy some of the remixes of her songs. You know, if I'm in a dancing-in-the-car-while-driving mood. Which I generally am.

Film of the Day: S. Darko (2009). It's definitely nowhere near as amazing as Donnie Darko, but it's a nice little play off of the whole idea, despite the fact that it's both a different writer and director than the original DD. Oh, and it was filmed out in the boondocks of central Utah somewhere (there's literally NOTHING in central Utah. I hate driving through it), so it holds a special little place in my heart. Plus, Ed Westwick is just nice to look at.

The Sad Song

The first time I heard this song was during my film making class in eleventh grade when Mr. Crouch wanted to show us how to make an interesting music video. I can remember where I was sitting, what computer I was using, and how mesmerized I was by the sound of this man's voice and the music it was making.
The second time I heard this was in the movie The Education of Charlie Banks. Once again, amazed, also because the song went perfectly with the emotions at the ending of that film.

Yesterday I jumped backwards into the snow an sunk about a foot into the top layer of powdery white wonder. I laid there for about 10 minutes, just thinking and looking up. I could see the tops of the pine trees shooting straight towards the blue sky, and perfectly white clouds slowly crawling past. Snow settled on the big branches of each tree.
It was more than snow and trees and sky. It was absolute beauty.
And I imagined this song playing in my head while I was taking in everything I saw and felt.

It was a good day.

No Hardcore Dancing In The Living Room

It's nice to know that I can talk about movies with the guy that works at Krave, the local self-serve frozen yogurt place. I feel really lame when I express my extreme love for movies in front of people, even my closest friends. I'm a movie buff. Movies are a huge part of my life.

I saw The Book of Eli tonight. BLEW MY MIND. It was so...thought provoking. Many will probably tell you that it's Christian propaganda or something stupid like that, but it has so much more to do with symbolism than actual religion. If you get the chance to see it, do so.

I feel like I'm sometimes chasing the wrong dream. I want to make movies. Cinematography, mostly. But I'm also interested in directing. I just don't see it happening in my future. Maybe someday, though.

My family and I are going up to Pine Valley tomorrow to the snow. I'm bummed that we didn't get any down here this winter, and I don't see it happening anytime during the remainder of the season.

I haven't written to Tyler for a long time. I just don't know what to say to him. The fact that I wont see him until November of 2011 has finally hit me. I miss my best friend.

Same with Alex (pictured). If I knew where to send a letter, I would write him, but I don't even know what side of the world he's on.

My current mood is...indifferent.

Later days.

Song of the Day: "Cute Without The 'e'" by Taking Back Sunday. One of my favorite bands. This song reminds me of...interesting times. But good nonetheless.

Film of the Day: The Book of Eli (2010)

I Should Have Posted This On MLK Day

"I'm not tellin' you what to do
You have the right to think
And do as you do
But to hate other people because of their race
Is just a waste of time
And a stupid disgrace

Hatred, I hate you, you hate me
It's such a waste of good energy
Instead of hating each other
Why not try and unite the scene and change the world
Just imagine if everyone listening right now was united
And wanted to change the world
Think of the difference we could make
If we only tried"

-"Hate" by Missing 23rd

I love punk music. It's so much more than moshing and screaming. Though those things are always fun too.
Unfortunately, I never got to go to a Missing 23rd show, but I have been to countless numbers of local punk shows in Ventura county, California. Those were the days...



I never think much about Martin Luther King, Jr. Day when it rolls around every year. I was thinking about that just now. Not that being half black makes me want to observe the holiday more than those who aren't African-American. It just made me think, "Hey, that's right, I'm half black." Living where I do, it's easy to forget, believe it or not. Listening to that song, it reminded me somehow.
I grew up in a family where nobody looks like me. Nowadays, I have a nine year old cousin, Eli, who looks like he is my little brother because he's also half black. Also, my other cousin, Kirstin, married a Tongan, so now we have a little more variety in the family :]
To be completely honest, I never thought about the fact that I was different than everyone I'm related to. In fact, I didn't even know I was black until 3rd grade when we were learning about the Civil Rights Movement and my teacher (worst/meanest teacher I've ever had by the way) pointed out me and this kid Johnathan because we were the only black kids in the class.

What I'm pretty much saying is I'm definitely proud of my race, but I don't make it a point to let you know that I'm black. Except when I'm hanging out with Alex Castillo, and basically anyone who went to Foothill Technology High School when I did. I made up 1/2 of the 5 1/2 black kids at our school at that time, so it was kind of a big deal. Yeah, we counted.


Yay for equality!

Later days.

Film of the Day: "The Hurt Locker" (2009). This was a very good movie.

Good Things and Weird Things

I love being right when so many people didn't believe me. Even if it is just about an nonexistent creature in the next room over.
And it was a cat, for the record.
It's been stuck in the chimney/pipe/thing that goes up to the roof from the basement for almost a week.
First, I started hearing noises coming from the next room over at night when I was going to sleep. I would check the other room hesitantly, thinking the worst: someone broke in. But there was always...nothing. It creeped me out.
Then we thought our dog peed in the same room. Even though I thought it smelled like a cat had. Don't ask me how I would know that.
And apparently my step-dad, Mike, had thought he heard a cat down here a few days ago as well.

Then there was tonight.
As my younger brothers and I were playing the Harry Potter's Adventures at Hogwarts board game about 30 minutes ago, we heard faint "meow" noises. I said, "Is that a cat?" and both Mikie and Andrew said, "No, it's our dad," and I didn't think anything of it because Mike is the kind of person who would try and weird us out by meowing at us from around the corner. The only problem was, we heard it again, and, out of annoyance, I yelled, "Can you please stop!"
No one answered.
Then I told Andrew to go check, and, well, he didn't want to because he's a 12 year old that is still afraid of the dark, so why would he check the dark halls for a cat?
Anyway, Mikie Jr. finally got up and yelled to Mike, "Are you making cat noises?!" and Mike said no. We heard a distinct "meow" come from somewhere in the room, and told Mike to get down stairs. We searched the room over, and every room in the basement and found nothing. I kept saying, "I know there's a freaking cat down here somewhere even though I sound like I'm going crazy."
Finally, Mike went onto the roof to check down the chimney pipe from up above, and, low and behold, I WAS RIGHT.
Cat in the chimney. The poor thing has probably been there for almost a week.
We called the fire department and they're on their way.

And to top it off, my mother just opened my door and said, "Maybe you should come out of your room when the firemen come over so you can get the cute ones." Direct quote. Wow. I literally did a face-to-palm move.

Mikie asked if we could keep it, and I sarcastically told him that we should obviously disregard the fact that I'm allergic and don't even like cats.


I'm so glad we could get to the bottom of this.

Later days.


Song of the Day: "Carve Your Heart" by Dashboard Confessional
Film of the Day: Inglourious Basterds (2009). I just rented it. I will be watching it shortly.

untitled. and intimidating.

I do my best blogging at 3 am. It's just a fact.

I change my mind too much. Also fact. And a problem. Now that I know what I want to do with my life, I don't know where I want to go next. I mean this literally, though also figuratively I suppose, in a sense. I just want something different than what I've ever done before. Seattle is a big choice, along with Nashville, believe it or not. As much as I love LA, I don't want to go to school there, though San Diego could be a definite possibility.
But what about...New York? As in city? The idea of it is no stranger to me, but I've always pushed it out of my mind because the thought of living somewhere so different than where I've been before scares me.
But is that just what I need?
Could be.

I think I want to take the chance, but is the risk worth it? Should I put in all the effort to apply to my dream school, NYU, even though nobody has ever been behind me in that?

So many questions without answers. It's freaking annoying.

I am definitely applying to the University of Washington again (that is, unless I get in in the next two months and they hold a spot for me for the fall). I am also going to apply to Rhode Island School of Design, my dream art school. It's also kind of the ivy league of art schools, so I have my doubts about whether or not I would belong there, but I think I want it enough that it would be okay. Last, but not least, I'll be applying to Watkins College of Art and Design and Film in Nashville, Tennessee.
Those are my three. If I have time and/or motivation to do so, I'll give the NYU application a try I guess. Although I do seem less than enthused by the idea of NYU, it's just an intimidating thought that is lurking in the back of my mind.

But who knows?
Everything will be okay in the end. I have faith.
Later days.

Song of the Day: "Zombie" by The Pretty Reckless. I found out yesterday that Taylor Momsen has a band. And I like it.
Film of the Day: Repo Men (2010). Check out the trailer, it looks interesting, I think. We'll see, eh. Come out April 2nd.

As They Watch Us Fall

I don't know what to write. I feel like I'm in the sort of mood where I should be writing something inspiring and thoughtful, but...I can't actually think of anything.

This is going to be another one of those blogs. You know, the one without a plan, without any sort of structure. Here goes.


I want to write a book. Or I am writing a book, rather. I have issues with starting things and not finishing them. These things tend to be novels, art projects, and job applications as of late. I'm planning on said book to be fiction, yet evolved from true life events from things that happened in my own life and the lives of others from when I was fourteen to about half way through my fifteenth year of life. I feel like our story is one that has to be told. What happened during that time changed my life in so many ways, and is an example of how incredible the lives of teenagers can be, despite what society thinks we do or don't do.
I said "life" way too much just now.

New subject.

I had another headache today. I would be convinced that I have a brain tumor, but the MRIs and CT scans are what make me doubt my theory. In all seriousness though, I get way too many migraines for a nineteen-year-old.



My drawing teacher liked my still lifes, and over all my level of skill. I may act like I don't give a darn, but I love hearing people tell me how good I am at something. Especially if it's something I love doing.

Speaking of art, I think I'm going to concentrate on drawing and painting rather than ceramics whenever I actually get into an art program. I gave it a lot of thought this last week, and I love ceramics, but I would rather just teach regular...art. Not ceramics.

By the way, I walked into the oil painting room yesterday because some portraits caught my eye. When I got up close to them I was literally in awe, just staring at the beauty that was created by someone with such an awesome talent.





I'm so glad my phone has a good camera.
And I hope that I can someday build my skills enough to reach this level of painting. Painting people has always been a huge weakness for me. I won't lie, I can draw 'em. But painting...not so much.

Later Days.


Song of the Day: "Unnatural Selection" by Muse. This album is so amazing. If you haven't had a chance to listen to it, get your hands on it as soon as possible and blast it in your car. Unless...well..that's what I do, but you don't have to I guess.
Film of the Day: Apocalypto (2006). Mel Gibson might have a few wrong doings under his belt, but this he did oh so right. Though very graphic, it is very much worth the watch, visually and otherwise.

PS - Golden Globes are this weekend. My favorites are...well, everybody. There are so many worthy nominees this year, it's too tough to pick out any in particular, especially since I haven't seen a lot of the films that are being nominated. I know, that's hard to believe right?
As for television, Michael C. Hall needs to win a freaking Golden Globe. He's nominated for Dexter every year, but has he won yet? No. And plus, he has cancer, so just give it to him for goodness sake.

Color Me...Baptized?

At first didn't quite know what to think of this. But then I remembered that I live in Utah.
My big argument about it was this: What fun would it be to color since you have to wear white when you're baptized? Yeah. Other than that...whatever. It was in WalMart, so I wasn't really surprised.
Also, $6.26??? Rip off.


I love how this week has gone.
I first went to school feeling good about it, dressed well, maybe a little make up on. Today half of my Spanish class, including me, had resorted to sweats. Amen to that.

I have to read Downriver by Will Hobbes by Tuesday, but I can't find it anywhere. I'll have to go to the library in a bit to see if they have anymore copies. Speaking of books, I'm going to build a book shelf this weekend, and I'm excited for it. For several months now, piles of books have just been accumulating next to my bed because of a lack of shelves. Now I finally have the money for a shelf. And I haven't made anything with wood for a good while, so I'm truly looking forward to it.

My plans for today go as follows:
Youth In Revolt
Library
Ceramics
BED TIME.

I stayed up until 3am watching the first season of Gossip Girl. Bad choice. It was one of those things where I knew I'd regret it in the morning, but didn't really think about it enough to care at the time.

Song of the Day: "A Whole Lot Better" by Brendan Benson
Film of the Day: Youth In Revolt (2010). I haven't seen it yet, obviously, but I'll let you know what I think about it tomorrow, I'm sure.

It's All About The Exposure

We shall start at the beginning.
First, Spanish. IT WAS SO EASY. We spent like, half an hour, figuring out how to say "my name is". And my instructor has a good sense of humor, so all seems well with that class.
After Spanish on Mondays and Wednesdays, I come home for two hours to an empty house and either read, spend too much time on the Internet, or anything else, really.
Then I go to Drawing and Composition for two hours.
Today was the first time we actually did something though. I haven't actually, you know, drawn something in a really long time, so it was weird for me to pick up on still life again. It took a little bit until I felt completely comfortable sketching with a charcoal stick. Thing. Anyway, I liked it. Not as much as I used to, but I think it's going to take some time. My senior year really made me dislike all things art, so I'm not sure if I'll really be able to enjoy drawing to the fullest extent again.
But, boy, do I love ceramics! Which is what I do on Tuesday and Thursday nights. Except I'll be in the ceramics studio a lot more than that, I guarantee it. I've definitely made up my mind that I want to have ceramics as my concentration. Now I just need to get into a school's art program to do it...

On Tuesday evenings at 5:15, for three hours of awesome, I have Young Adult Literature.
My professor is fantastic. I don't generally like female professors, at least from my college experience so far, but I really like her. She also has a good sense of humor. Whilst mentioning that Twilight is, in fact, a YA book, she said that anyone who's an English major should never read the series while holding a red pen. Amen to that.

Since I'm on the note of YA Li. right now, I should also mention that the books I have to read for this class are going to be AWESOME. Today I bought The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins, Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan, Shooter by Walter Dean Myers, The House of the Scorpion by Nancy Farmer, and Bud, Not Buddy by Christopher Paul Curtis.
Also, I have to o a two-minute presentation of Paper Towns next Tuesday explaining to the class why everyone should read it. The catch is that I have to have five props. So I went to Target today and bought a plastic toy cow (the last one...I don't why it was the last. Who buys toy cows?), a Hot Wheels van (it's not a mini-van. Apparently Hot Wheels doesn't make those), and a pack of dollar section map flash cards. I felt very awkward at checkout.
I'm also going to use a Santa figure from our Christmas decorations and my book of Walt Whitman poetry that I randomly have from eleventh grade.

I still have to find YA books that fit into the Horror genre. Any suggestions??

I love my classes. But I do not love transfer applications and rebuilding my portfolio.
Hakuna matada, I suppose.

Later days.


Song of the Day: "Where The Lines Overlap" by Paramore. Hayley Williams' voice is cRaZy awesome. It's probably because she's crazy awesome. Just a thought.
Film of the Day: Legion (2010). This comes out on the 22nd of this month. I have the poster on my wall of movie posters. Which isn't saying a lot since every wall in my room has a movie poster on it. Anyway, I love Paul Bettany. Amen.

I Think You Can In Europe

School is tomorrow. Really this time.

I'm very excited for Spanish. I hope I still remember most of what I learned two years ago. Except for Mrs. Hangtin's (Hantgin? Hangtin? She was a witch either way) class in senior year, that was a JOKE. I think I was the only person in that entire class that didn't cheat on my tests but still ended up getting the best grade. It's crazy what happens when you actually learn.

I can't stop listening to He Is We and The Ranger$. Two extremely different styles of music, but both full of energy and awesomeness.

I feel like this blog is going to be one of those that has no real point. You know, like when I just start typing out everything that I think of when I think it. No real structure. Not that I care, clearly.

This reminds me of Ms. Steele, my 10th grade English and World History teacher. Apparently she's married now, and her name is something that is way more complicated to say than "Steele". Anyway, she has always been one of my most favorite teachers ever because she was always willing to listen whenever I had something to say, regardless of how unimportant it was. She's just one of those generally nice, cool people that you completely respect because of how awesome they are.

During the beginning of my senior year before I switched schools, I used to be late to my fifth period just so I could sneak into Steele's sophomore class and sit in an empty seat, waiting until she noticed I was there. She never did. I would just stand up after a few minutes, shake my head, and say, "Miss Steele, you didn't notice me? Really? Oh well, I guess I'll have to try again next week." She never cared that I did that, like so many other teachers would have.

I'm having a lot of fun recording Foundation songs. At first, it was a little frustrating to have to learn about a new program to record and mix audio, and all the awesomeness that comes with that, but I got through it and now I love it. Though it would be easier if I didn't have a PC. Just saying.

The classes I will be taking this semester are:

-Beginning Spanish 1
-Intro to Ceramics (except it's basically independent/advanced for me since I took it already. I just couldn't fit the actual advanced class into my schedule)

-Intro to Drawing

-Young Adult Literature

I'm pretty stoked about that last one. I just hope we'll read some good stuff. Also, it gives me a chance to talk about John Green and Maureen Johnson more than I already do.

Okay, I'm done rambling.

Later days.

Songs of the Day: "Pin Drop" by The Ranger$ and "A Mess It Grows" by He Is We. Both are available on itunessss.

Film of the Day: 10 Things I Hate About You (1999). To this day, this movie has one of my favorite casts ever. And some of the most...memorable quotes.

"I like my Sketchers, but I love my Prada backpack."

"But I love my Sketchers."

"That's because you don't have a Prada backpack."

Oh, the nineties.

Daybreakers Was Awesome. Unless You Don't Like Vampire Movies. Then It Probably Sucked.

If you've ever met me, or read almost any of my blogs, you will know that I'm a HUGE movie buff. If you didn't know that, I just told you. Anyway, I watch a lot of movies, probably way to many of them, and I spend far too much time reading about them and their actors and directors on Internet Movie Database.
I went to see Daybreakers (2009) on January 8th (which is actually in 2010, I am aware of this, but the movie was completely done in 2009, so...yeah), the day it came out in theatres. Without giving too much away, the whole idea of the movie is that about 95% of the human race has been transformed into vampires by the year 2019, and at this time, there are literally military positions for vampires that are human hunters, so that the humans may be taken to various establishments in different countries to be farmed for their blood. However, blood supply is running low, and doctors are striving to find a blood substitute, but failing horribly. Let's just say that the tests they run with the earlier stages of the blood substitute quite literally blow up in their faces.
The main doctor on this team searching for the blood substitute is Ethan Hawke's character, Edward Dalton. Whether or not the name Edward is a horribly hilarious coincidence or not, the theatre started laughing when they learned that the main character was such. Dalton is very much opposed to the idea of drinking human blood and probably wants a solution to the blood deprivation problem more than anyone. Or rather, a cure, perhaps. Whichever, it needs to be done fast, because those vampires that are being starved of blood transform into what are called "subsiders", some sort of creature that looses all forms of logic and knowledge of anything around them. In fact, the best way I can think of how to describe them is a vampire...zombie. With wings and claws and the ability to walk on ceilings. But I digress.
After hiding a group of humans to help them escape from police, Dalton earns some of their trust, and they are willing to collaborate with him in ways so that what he desires may become true: there could in fact be a way to stop vampires from becoming subsiders, or stop vampires from being vampires all together.
But despite a solution, will the entire world want to stop?

As for the acting, it was good enough for me. Willem Dafoe was my personal favorite. He was definitely the comedic relief in the film.

Keep in mind, this movie is not for the weak stomached. There is a lot of blood and it looks pretty darn real most of the time. These folks knew how to make a vampire movie.
Also, it is rated R, and for good reasons: there is a good amount of language, intense action and violent fighting, and some very adult humor, so don't take grandma and the kids for a night on the town to see this.

Overall it was filled with blood, vampires, killing, loving, dying, heartache, and betrayal. So, naturally, it was pretty darn good.



On a completely different note, I put up a new and improved song on the Foundation of Fair Fortune MySpace (link over on the right).

I've already mentioned enough about music and films, so I think you can go without a song or film of the day.

Later days.

Gangsta Rap Days

I was driving in the Suburban today instead of Vito Corleone (my Jimmy), and I was looking for something to listen to because radio stations in southern Utah are horrible. Inside the self-titled Taylor Swift CD case, I found a mix CD that was labeled "music for driving". I thought, Oh, I probably made this, because I used to make lame CDs labeled like that. popped the sucker into the CD player and skimmed through the songs, only to hear GANGSTA RAP GALORE. I must have made this. Back in my extreme gangsta rap days (aka junior year). It contained a good amount of songs by The Game, Ying Yang Twins, and Snoop Dog.

That was kind of the high light of my day so far. Besides that, my mom was admitted to the hospital from the emergency room, for reasons I haven't been told yet.



Ugh.



I have to submit three required drawings in graphite on white paper for my RISD application. I hate doing required art that is so specific. I treat it like a school assignment and feel like it's way too difficult to put my whole heart into. But I'm forcing myself to do it, and do a good job. I'm about 1/4 way through the first one, but my light changed on my subject too much to continue it today, so I'll hopefully finish tomorrow. I'll start another one later tonight.

But for now, I'm going to go play some music, maybe even record the music for a song or two...who knows :]



Later days.





Song of the Day: "Light A Way" by He Is We
Film of the Day: State of Play (2009). I finally got around to watching this movie last week, and I really liked it. I'm too lazy to elaborate on why, so just trust me, I guess.

Orange Juice?

My hands hurt. Why, you ask? Because I was forced against my will this morning to juice around 20 oranges and tangerines, BY HAND, MIND YOU.
Well not forced, but asked to. And I was in bed when I was asked to, and didn't want to get up, so I was grumpy about it. But my hands still hurt.
And just because the orange juice was absolutely delicious doesn't mean I'm not going complain.

I've also been playing all of my songs for Foundation over and over and over and over and...yeah. Practice makes perfect, even if I hate doing it after only ten minutes.

My mom and bonded over M&M's and The Proposal today. Good times.

I found two skateboards today in the garage that I was working on over two years ago. One is kind of warped with air bubbles forming under the primer...so I guess it'll be heading for the trash. I can't get attached to my work, whether it be pots or pieces of wood. It's hard, but necessary, or else I would throw a freaking fit every time I broke a perfectly trimmed piece of pottery (which happens way too often).
Anyway, I'll be finishing up and designing the graphics of the other board tomorrow. I'm excited. I haven't made a skateboard since my junior year...nostalgiaaaa.

I'm planning a video for this week. Hopefully it will turn out how I want it too. It's kind of annoying that Premiere doesn't work on my computer, I really enjoyed working with that program back in the day.

I'm nervous about transfer applications. Mainly just about putting together my portfolio and making more pieces for it. I need at least 12. I have like...6 or 7. They're all drawing and painting pieces, but I need to make some pots to photograph. And I might submit, like, one photo. Maybe. We'll see...I just have a lot of work ahead of me for this month.

Later Days.

Song of the Day: "Teach Me How to Jerk" by Audio Push. I know I know I know. Really??? But seriously. Playing this loudly in my car with the bass turned up driving through St. George, Utah (one of the most conservative towns in Utah, in my opinion) and dancing to it at red lights to annoy/embarrass my brothers makes this song soooo good (Well hello, run on sentence, how are you?). Plus, jerkin' is way fun when you know how to do it. Just sayin'.
Film of the Day: Daybreakers (2010). It comes out Fridayyy. It looks good. And I'm just generally exited/curious to see if Ethan Hawke can do another good movie ever again, because, I mean...come on. Taking Lives (2004) was good and all, but when can we see another Gattaca (1997)?

Indecisive Me

School tomorrow.

I'm excited for this semester. That is, unless I get into UW, then I will discontinue going to Dixie and be on my way to Seattle in March. Otherwise, I'm exited.

If I don't get into Washington, and I have this nagging feeling that I wont, I have decided which schools I will be applying to for the Fall:

-University of Washington (again)

-Road Island School of Design

-Watkins College of Art, Design, & Film

And maybe I will apply to

-Seattle University

-University of Puget Sound

-Portland State University

-Laguna College of Art & Design

Wherever I go, I will be pursuing a degree in art. RISD will be my first choice, then UW, then Watkins, and then the others.

Now. I need to stop looking at schools because I keep wanting to change my mind haha.

Everything all rests on financial aid in the end though, because in reality, I can't afford to go to any schools, including the one I go to now, without basically full coverage, whether it be scholarships, grants, or loans.

It's quite frustrating, really.

I need to get started on essays, drawings, and new pieces for my portfolio.

I have a lot of work to do.

Later days.

PS-Today is awesome because John Green responded to an email I sent him, and I never expected him to respond back to it. W00t.

Song of the Day: "No Moon" by Iron & Wine

Film of the Day: The Education of Charlie Banks (2007)

Recaps and Goals

I don't like that time passes so quickly. It bothers me. But I do enjoy change to some extent, so I let time do it's thing without worrying too much about it (as if I could do something to change what it does).

In the year of two thousand and nine, I made many many new friends at school in northern Utah, then moved away from them in late April, not knowing that I would not return to Weber in the Fall to come. Now that I'm back to living at home and going to a different school, I have basically no good friends within a 350 mile radius of me.
Well, this kind of sucks.
Anyway, I had my fun during my freshman year of college earlier in the year, and I enjoyed being in California for a good chunk of my summer with my Ventura friends and family, but when Fall did eventually roll around, I no longer was having fun.
I wont say I became depressed, because I know what depression is, and I consider myself too happy a person now to fall back into crap like that, but I will say I was less happy. I wasn't lonely, but I felt alone a lot of times, and I didn't really do much to change my situation.

Then November came.
With November came a list of life changing events.
First, I FINALLY got my hands on a copy of Paper Towns and read it. I read Looking For Alaska several years back, pretty much right after it came out, along with Katherines when it did, but I NEVER thought of exploring my love for these books further online. It never even occurred to me at the time that authors of good books go places and do readings, though I did, in fact, know that they did. After reading his third novel, I thought I would look John Green up online because, well, I have nothing else to do.
Before continuing, I would like to point out that John Green changed my life with his writing before he inspired me otherwise.
And then I found it: Brotherhood 2.0.
WHY HAD I NOT FOUND THIS BEFORE? I was a fan before it all started, but I was lame and I never discovered the extent of how much of a fan I could be. I became a Nerdfighter right then and there.
Then I discovered...YouTube. I mean, I had obviously heard of it and used it before. But for...vlogging? What? fiveawesomegirls? vlogbrothers? meekakitty? whatthebuck?
I couldn't believe it. I thought that I was extremely internet savvy, but no. Boy, was I wrong. How wrong I was.

So I gave vlogging a try, as much as I hate that word for some reason. My first vlog was crap. Then I just watched and watched and watched and watch videos on YouTube all the time for about a week. I made friends. This was weird to me considering my recent un-successes doing so "IRL". Then I made more vlogs, and I personally saw growth after about a week.
I'm not looking to be a YouTube sensation like hayleyghoover or anything, I just want to make good videos in the hope that someone (maybe some people) will enjoy watching them.

I also discovered the Harry Potter fandom within all these events unfolding in several weeks. I wont go into that too much because it is a little more special to me (as nerdy as that sounds), I've already written a blog on it, and I've already written a lot, so I'd be completely surprised if you are still reading. In fact, leave a comment telling me you are still reading if you are.

Oh, goals!
My four main goals for the year are to go to VidCon and Wrockstock 4, get into one of the schools I'll be apply to for transfer (that is, if I haven't already..), and complete, and somewhat release, an album, preferably wizard rock for Foundation of Fair Fortune, though I have been writing a lot of muggle music as well. So who knows.
Other goals I have in mind are to make more friends (whether it be IRL or online), get a real job, build an electric guitar, and improve my vlogging skillz and maybe get some more subscribers?? That would be kind of cool. Not really an ego boost as much as a self-esteem one. Not that I need an ego boost, no one ever does, really. Though the two coincide in a sense, really.

But I digress.

Later days.

Song of the Day: "The Only Exception" by Paramore (Brand New Eyes is fantastic, by the way).
Film of the Day: Lords Of Dogtown (2005). It's always been a secret dream of mine to skate like people did when they revolutionized the skating world in '75. The documentary this is based off of is swell too, Dogtown and Z-Boys (2001). I highly recommend both.


PS-if anyone else wants to go to VidCon...I need someone to share a room with or else I won't be able to go. So let me know if you're down.