Knowin Nothin In Life But To Be Legit

I've just made a decision that I'm going to stick with, regardless of the fact that I just thought of it at 1:30am.

I'm not going to record my album until I get a steel string acoustic guitar.

Right now, all I've got is the nylon classical acoustic that I've had since I was 13. I love the sound of it, but it isn't right for what I want. It might be right for some of the guitar parts in my songs, but otherwise...nope. I want my songs to sound good, not mediocre, so I'm going to have to sacrifice the wait of buying a new (well, probably used actually) instrument in order to get what I want, though I am extremely impatient.

I've also decided to write some new songs for a regular (muggle music) album. I would like to be a one man band for that as well, so I'll have to start thinking of a good band name. I was thinking about all the names of local bands from Ventura, California that I used to see a lot and was laughing at a few of them. Mostly just at Sexual Jedi haha. Sexual Jedi was one of the first bands I saw on the first night I went to the Underground, along with Aejis and Grady. That was great night. But I digress.

I'll continue thinking about names.

Songs of the Day: "Hell" by Tegan and Sara, and "Cold Hands (Warm Heart)" by Brendan Benson

Well Nevermind, Nevermind

Today was a little bit crazy.

Two birthday parties = 12 five year olds for 3 hours.

+3 hours of 20 other children of various ages.

I got really tired.

I love my job though. Kids are the greatest.

Unless they have effing cell phones at the age of 8, then I'm just annoyed at society.

I'm really behind on my TV shows. Not Grey's and House or anything, but the good shows: Dexter, Weeds, Big Love. The shows with no boundaries. I'm on season 4 of The L Word right now (insane show, by the way, but so addicting and full of good drama). I got halfway through Weeds season 5 while it was actually on the air, but never finished it. Dexter...has cancer. Now but really, I need to see season 4 as soon as humanly possible. And I need to still watch season 3 of Big Love even though it's been on DVD for like 4 months.

I've decided I wont be able to afford Wrockstock this year, unless by some miracle I can whip up an additional job. NO ONE IS HIRING. It's absolutely ridiculous.

I'm really bummed that I wont be able to go. I was excited to be able to meet fellow wrockers and hear awesome music. Next year, I guess.

I'm so tired.

Later days.

Song of the Day: "Help I'm Alive" by Metric

Film of the Day: I can't think of one. What are your favorite films?

Our Reckless Abandon

Guernica

So we're drawing Picasso in my drawing class right now.

My teacher talks way too much, it's quite distracting, and everything he say is somewhat redundant. I just pop my head phones in my ears and drift off to art land.

I kept Andrew Bird's "A Nervous Tic Motion of the Head to the Left" on repeat.

Right now I need to be doing 17 pages of my Spanish workbook that is due tomorrow and I put off until the last minute. As always.

Today in class Senior Everet (the funniest teacher ever, by the way) was going over a worksheet we did in class and he asked for volunteers to read off their answers.

Silence. All except for that awkward feeling and slight sounds of people moving around uncomfortably to look around and see who will raise their hand first.

I love that moment there. That little bit of awkward flowing through the air. I kind of laugh on the inside when it happens, I'm not sure why. Maybe because of the fact that people are so self-conscious around their peers that they wont even raise their hand to answer a question for the fear of maybe getting it wrong.

Anyway, he called on me, and I like, kind of quietly laughed about the whole situation and looked at him and I could tell he was thinking what I was thinking: People are funny things.

"Why are we alive?
And here's how they replied
You're what happens when two substances collide
And by all accounts you really should have died"

- from A Nervous Tick Motion of the Head to the Left

Later days.

Song of the Day: "Everything's Just Wonderful" by Lily Allen. May I just say that Lily Allen is kind of amazing and brilliant? I love her music, despite her excessive use of the f-word haha. By the way, if you click on the song you can get it from me.

Film of the Day: Once (2006). Glen Hansard was originally just going to make a promo video for his solo music career, but it turned into a feature film with a storyline and Academy Award winning soundtrack. SO GOOD.

Come On and Catch My Disease

[edit] I'd just like to start out by saying that today is filled with nostalgia thanks to music that I've been importing to my computer today that I've had since middle school. Por ejemplo, right now, I'm listening to New Found Glory, thinking, "how did I ever like listening to these guys?" and then thinking, "why do I like listening to them now?"

Oh, the many mysteries of the universe. I hope that one day they can perhaps be solved.

People rate people. It's just a fact. Everybody does it. I do it all the time, I people watch and rate (as creeper-ish as that sounds). But you know what I mean. You see a person, or a group of people, and you subconsciously rate them in your mind. I'm generally either intimidated by people, or else I can see myself being buddies with them, all based upon what I see in a matter of minutes, or seconds, even. I know this is completely inaccurate (in most cases, anyway) and ridiculously prejudice in so many ways, but it happens.

Alex (Mr. Marine Man, aka my best friend in the entire world) and I were once at a St. Bonnaventure/Oaks Christian football game a few years back (also, this is the day that Will Smith and his kids walked past me, and I was so absolutely shocked by his presence that I literally just stood there and stared as he passed by) and we stood at the edge of the sidewalk surrounding the field and watched the people that scurried by.

I realize in retrospect that this is extremely weird, but it's really just an extended version of what most people subconsciously do every single day, like I said.

This was just sort of on my mind today. I was thinking about people that I'd love to be friends with, but I'm intimidated by. When this happens, I always think about how they're probably nothing like I picture them to be in my mind, and that the view from a distance is often obscured in many ways.

Hmm. Did I mention I'm pulling an all-nighter? Yeah, it's 5:46 am. There's no effing way I'm going to sleep now and getting up for Spanish in 3 hours. That doesn't work for me. I'd much rather push through then collapse on my bed at 10:57 after getting home from class.

I truly hope everyone else's days are brilliant though!

Later days.

Song of the Day: "All Downhill From Here" by New Found Glory

Film of the Day: Everybody's Fine (2009). It's Drew Barrymore's birthday! And it was a good movie. Nothing I've ever seen De Niro do, really. I always think of him more as Travis or Vito, back in the when he was absolutely gorgeous. But I digress.

Hold Nothing Back, Like You've Nothing To Lose

I thought I was supposed to read Whale Talk by Chris Crutcher this week for my YA Lit class. But no, I'm supposed to read Does My Head Look Big In This by Randa Abdel-Fattah. Now I have to find a copy of that novel and read it by Tuesday afternoon. Crap.

In other news, I saw The Lightning Thief today. I was extremely disappointed from the get go. BUT it was a good movie. As just a movie. Not a film adaptation of a book. Worth seeing, but don't get your hopes up, I guess. I also saw Valentine's Day last weekend, which was better than I expected. 3 out of 5, I'd say.

Since I'm on the topic of movies, I watched Life As A House this week. I had heard of it but didn't really know what it was all about. Before I rented it I noticed that it starred Hayden Christensen, which almost made me pass it by, but the fact that it also starred Kevin Kline made me stick to my decision. I'm so glad I did. Christensen may have been a less than convincing Darth Vader - and let's just face it, Jumper was a horrible movie acting wise - but he can pull off depressed and angry teenager well enough. The overall story was good, the acting was pretty great the majority of the time, and it was very heartfelt. I like movies that make me...feel, so to speak. That's why I love foreign films, they don't hold back. They throw it all at you at once so that you are so overcome by the intensity and emotions flowing through the film that it makes you feel something. Something you can't get from a good ol' American made film. But I digress. A lot.

Life As A House was different from the norm, but not so different as, say, A Very Long Engagement.

Now I feel like I'm giving it too much praise...I don't know. It was just a good movie in my opinion haha.

I wrote and recorded a rap the other day. I think I'm going to make a music video for it at some point. Some point soon though because it kind of goes with the video I posted yesterday.

I'm never able to segue into an ending to my posts very well. So...

Later days.

Song of the Day: "The Road To Jericho Is Lined With Starving People" by This Providence

Film of the Day: City Of God (2002). So good. So so good. It blows me away every single time I see it, and I've seen it at least 5 times. Because of this movie I want to name one of my future children Benny. True story. And speaking of, this film is actually based on a true story, which is even more unbelievable.

Albeit Condescending

Just finished New York, I Love You. I like the way it's put together more than Paris, Je T'aime, but I think I like them both equally considering all the content in each one.

May favorite stories in New York so far are the relationships between the dancer dad and his daughter (written and directed by Natalie Portman...She's kind of one of my favorite people), and the two old people that are walking down the street arguing. They make me smile :]

And the actors in this film are all quite good.

Love.

Love is a funny thing.

It's a beautiful thing. Frustrating and wonderful and exciting. I can't speak from personal experience, but from a distance, this is what I see.

I want to go to New York now.

Alas, I must go to my drawing class, taught my a very annoying and talkative, though very nice, instructor.

Later days.

Song of the Day: "Caring Is Creepy" by The Shins. Not my favorite Shins song overall, but definitely some of my favorite lyrics of all time.

Film of the Day: Well, I was hoping that would be obvious.

TJ and Sally...true love at it's..um...best?

I deleted my last post. I didn't like reading it. If I don't like reading what I write, who will? I generally enjoy re-reading my blogs, but it was just dull, and altogether lame.

I just finished another song for my album. I love it.

It's quite interesting to see myself evolve with my song writing. Not so much with the actual lyrics, but with the sound of the music, the sound of the words and how they are sung. I think I'm improving anyway.

I know I've said it before, but wizard rock is such a blessing to me. It has become such a huge part of my life in such a short amount of time, and I'm so grateful for it. I don't care if no one listens to it (okay, that's a complete lie. It would be nice if at least like, three people enjoyed it, just for self-esteem purposes), I'm just so happy that I get to create it.

I was explaining to Erin (my best friend, and possibly my future cousin-in-law, depending on how things work out when Tyler gets home in late 2011 from his mission in Honduras) that I've never had so much joy in writing songs. I've been writing crappy song lyrics and poems since the seventh grade, but now I'm actually putting legitimate effort (as opposed to...illegitimate? HA. The word "illegitimate" always makes me think of Thomas Jefferson and Sally Hemings and all their illegitimate slave children. But I digress.) into my songs. I just feel happy when I write now. It's lovely :]

On the subject of Tyler, or Elder Wedemeyer, rather, I love reading his weekly emails to everyone. He only gets 30 minutes every Tuesday to write emails, but he does it so well! Tyler has always had a way with words that I could never compare my writing with. He uses such great imagery, it's amazing. I miss his amazingness.

I talked to Jenna (Tyler's sister) last night. Despite her being somewhat under the influence, we had a good (but giggly) heart to heart.

I miss my cousins. They are truly my brother and sister, not my cousins.

And now, I end abruptly, seeing as it's almost 1am and I have extreme issues getting up for my 10am class as it is.

Later days.

Song of the Day: "Broken Stereo" by Sean Fournier. Download his album for free!! It's quite catchy.

I Am Moving. Again.

Not far, just about 8 miles north of where I am now.

BUT

it feels like it's in the middle of nowhere, out in the boondocks. I'm not generally a fan of boondocks unless they have something to do with saints, so naturally, I'm not a fan of this.

The neighborhood is far out of the way of anything besides a random WalMart super store and Chevron gas station.

I mean, if you just go over the hill to the south, you hop on the freeway and you're in Washington/St. George again, but it still feels so distant from everything.

This is going to be the 13th time I've moved during my life.

I'm a city person. I like suburbs and big building and almost-car-accidents in busy intersections.

I don't like rural. Unless I'm deliberately going camping or something.

Ugh. I'm done venting.

I've decided that I'm applying to Watkins down in Nashville. And...some other schools. I don't know which ones though. Ideas??

Later days.

Song of the Day: "Walking With A Ghost" by Tegan and Sara. Tegan and Sara are one of those bands that I have been listening to way longer than everyone else has. Their music was a huge part of my life once upon a time, and will always be as such.

uhh...TITLE.

This is going to be quick because I just realized I have class in 13 minutes. Hoorah.

I don't think I'm going to apply to Rhode Island School of design anymore. I might apply for it next year, though. I might still apply to Watkins down in Nashville. But who knows? Maybe I'll end up at Utah Valley University up in Provo, UT with the rest of my Ventura Mormons who basically will all be in northern Utah next fall.

To make a long story short, I have no idea what's next in my life after this summer, and I really don't mind. I'm just grateful that I have an awesome family that still let's me live in the basement :]

In other news, I have to postpone my reading of 13 Little Blue Envelopes for the time being and read Black Potatoes: The Story of the Great Irish Famine for my YA Lit class. I have no clue what is in store me when I read that. I just like learning about Irish history, and I'm tired of reading Holocaust history books, so I choose it.

And now I have 4 minutes to get to class. I'm always late, so I'm really not too worried about it.

Later days.

Song of the Day: "Why Don't You" by Plastic Operator

Film of the Day: Zombieland (2009). It came out on DVD last week. And, I mean...it's Zombieland. If you've yet to see it, and you aren't grossed out by zombies, I suggest you see it because it's actually pretty well done for a zombie movie.

[edit]

I'm not applying to RISD. It's been decided.

Also, I'm making a design for the ALL CAPS tshirt contest. The idea sketch that I did looks awesome, but my final draft of it isn't turning out quite as well as I'd hoped.

In other news, Grey's Anatomy has succeeded once again in making me cry while watching this week's episode. It has yet to fail. Someday...someday.

And I'm adding American Idol to my list of Things That I Don't Like That Everyone Else Seems To.

Oh, AND, I'm getting way better at ceramics. This week was a GREAT week for ceramics, which is nice, because I've been having a lot of bad ceramics days lately. I still can't decide whether or not I want it to be my concentration or not yet though. We'll see...

Adding To The List

Things I Don't Like That Everyone Else Seems To:

Lost

Johnny Cash

The Phantom Tollbooth

-Coheed and Cambria

-Smosh

The Anticipation's Got Me Glued

Today is a good day.

I went to Church, actually wanting to go to Church for the first time in a long time. I'm so glad I did.

We sang my favorite hymn, "Be Still My Soul". I always want to sing it but it's never one of the songs in the program on Sundays. Today it was. Then I just loved being around everyone at Church because everyone was so happy, and all seemed to be having a good day.

Everything just felt...in place. Everything was right.

Other than that, my life has been pretty unchanging as of late. I'm enjoying Catching Fire so far, and I'm pretty proud of myself that I'm sticking with my goal to read all these books. Last year, I probably read about 6-8 full books, if that. Doing what I'm doing now, reading so much, reminds me of how much I really do love to read. It's a wonderful feeling :]

I also made a Tumblr to keep track of all the books I read and kind of tell others whether or not I liked them or not. Just click here or on the book cover over to the right there to check that out.

I wrote another letter to Tyler today. I love writing to him. I like having someone to write to on a regular basis, especially when it's with someone who's only means of communication with me is by letter.

I don't have much of an update on my wrock album. Not much progression in recording since the room I generally recorded in is still covered in soot from the cat incident. But I have been in the process of writing more songs, so there could possibly be more songs than I first anticipated going onto the album. So that's exciting.

I played some indoor soccer yesterday and now I have bruises all over my left leg. Just my left. I don't even know..

..this is where I end.

Later days.

Songs of the Day: "The Luckiest" by Ben Folds and "Sleeping Bear, Sault Saint Marie" by Sufjan Stevens.

Film of the Day: Planet 51 (2009)

Fly Down To Mexico

After reading both Hayley and PJ's blogs about fourteen-year-old selves, I thought about how I was at age fourteen.

Then I remembered: we don't talk about that. And by we, I mean I. And by talk I mean think.

Fourteen was no fun, I'll tell you that much. For some weird reason, I was completely and utterly depressed, to the point where I turned to things that weren't generally good for me (or legal, I might add) to get away from the world around me. I started hanging out with the wrong people, hoping they could help me escape my mind, but I was just a sad little teenager.

Thank God for Garden State. And I'm completely serious. That movie - mostly the soundtrack - changed my life. I remember the day perfectly:

I didn't have a 2nd period class, and I was sitting against one of the big gray cement pillars on the outskirts of the quad at Foothill Technology High School. I was on the grass. I remember it being quite a nice day, and the grass seeming to be more green than usual. I was listening to my CD player (old school, I know) and had just put in the Garden State soundtrack. The very first song on the album is "Don't Panic" by Coldplay.

"We live in a beautiful world,

Yeah we do, yeah we do

We live in a beautiful world"

And it hit me like a ton of effing bricks. BE HAPPY YOU IDIOT. I looked around, felt the sun on my skin, felt warm inside for the first time in a long time...and smiled. I remember smiling.

The bell rang just as this happened, and I watched the entirety of the school walk out of classes all around me, the whole time only hearing this song. Everything was in slow motion, as though I was discovering my sight for the first time. I felt new. And best of all, happy.

From that point on, I have been an extremely optimistic person, always cheering up others, doing my best to keep love and happiness alive in the hearts of everyone around me. Anyone who is friends with me knows this. Even those who are no longer my friends or never even considered me a friend to begin with. Whether it be a car ride to a safe place or a present for no reason to put a smile on your face, I'm always there for the people I care about. I never want anyone to be in the place that my fourteen-year-old self was in once upon a time.

Song of the Day: "Don't Panic" by Coldplay

Film of the Day: Garden State (2004)

PS - If anyone wants me to make them a mix CD, let me know. I feel like I can communicate with people through music better than most anything else, and I like spreading good music around.

:]

Later days.

You Think You Think You're Pretty Smart

Today I made a cake. A very large cake. And it was delicious. Well, is still I suppose, we haven't eaten the whole thing yet.

I also aced my first Spanish test of the semester.

In my drawing class right now, we are supposed to be using pencils and graphite sticks to draw a suit of armor. I have to literally force myself to push on and keep going while drawing this. IT IS BORING. I like drawing people. Or wrenches. I like drawing wrenches. Don't ask.

Anyway, I have to build my portfolio, so the more drawings the better, even if they are of suits of armor.

In ceramics, one of my pots broke. I was kind of mad, but then I remembered my motto for ceramics: Don't get attached. It's hard not to, but it's necessary. Things break. Things don't work out. That is life, unfortunately.

Speaking of my portfolio, does anyone have any suggestions for art projects? I need new ideas. More breadth. More variety. I have to show these schools what I can do, and in order to do such I must challenge myself. So suggestions are quite welcome :]

I have four songs recorded for my wrock album so far. I have five to go. I've decided to make some big changes to one of those five songs, so it might take even longer than I'd like, but I'm sure the outcome will be rewarding and make up for time lost.

I feel as though I've been focusing far too much on lyrics (which is completely understandable, considering wizard rock is a completely lyrically based genre) and have lost the more musical side of things. Por ejemplo, making sure it sounds good. Like, good, good. Why would I want to make something that not even I would listen to? Exactly. So I'll work on that for the remaining songs.

But for now, later days.

Band of the Day: The Brobecks

Film of the Day: Son of Rambo (2007)