Sore and Bitter

I feel like I don't have anything to write about lately.

When I used to write, when I was a freshman and sophomore in high school, what I wrote was thoughtful (though not good), and I enjoyed writing it. Now I just feel like there's nothing much to take from my mind and type out onto here.

Today I'll tell about my epic fail of a crash that I had this last Thursday. Not necessarily the events that unfolded, but how I felt when it all happened, what I feel when it happens almost every time. Unfortunately, I can recall the thoughts that go through my head at the exact moments when I injure myself more accurately now than I used to.

I'll be honest: this crash off of my long board on Thursday was probably one of the most terrifying crashes I've ever had (I've had many on bikes, scooters, roller blades & skates, and even trikes, but that's an entirely different blog). I was going at quite a high speed out of control and literally thrown frontwards by the laws of physics onto extremely rough and gravely asphalt.
I'm actually kind of amazed that I got off with the injuries that I did. I wasn't wearing my helmet (for some reason I thought I didn't need one. News flash to anyone that rides on something with wheels that isn't a car: You are NEVER too bad ass to wear a helmet) which I will be wearing again from this point on, but, luckily, nothing happened to the face or head region of my body. I am extremely grateful for this, and I'm not sure how that happened.

I'm also not sure how I didn't come out of this with any broken arms (I've had 7 so far in my life), considering how I threw my hands out in front of me to break my fall.

I got some scrapes and bruises on several surfaces of my skin (through my jeans and sweatshirt), what my mom thinks might be some bruised ribs (she's been a nurse for 15 years, these aren't simply just motherly instincts or something, though that would be fine for me too), and a very sore body overall.

I feel blessed, to put it bluntly.

Just as I realized I was being thrown face first into the dark grayish ground, I literally thought "Oh shit", though I didn't say anything legible out loud. But I seriously remember those exact words flashing through my head. I remember sticking my hands out in front of me, entirely out of instinct. Once I hit, I slid several feet, according to my brother. He also mentioned that I looked like I was going fast enough to fly if only I had been flapping my arms fast enough.

Every time it happens I just feel scared. My life doesn't flash before my eyes or anything, but I feel scared for that tiny little moment in time. Then once it's over I just feel shock for a while, with the trace of fear still lingering, then once that's over I just have to wait until I'm whole again and healed.

Maybe it's just an injury, and it was just an accident, but it's grown to be more for me.

But then again I could be thinking way to much about the fact that I'm just super clumsy and break too many bones.

Later days.

Song of the Day: "Sleepyhead" by Passion Pit. Kind of a weird song, but catchy.

Goodbye, The Future's Sold Out

Gosh, I've been kind of laggin' with the blog post lately, huh. Sorry to those of you who read it, I've just been trying to actually do things in my life instead of..well, not doing things.

One thing that has been on my mind a lot lately is the whole idea of the 3D television. I don't like it. I mean sure, to be able to watch a good 3D movie at home is exciting, but 3D channels? I don't like thinking about the fact that technology might be moving forward way too fast, to the point where each middle-class American household could possibly have some tricked out HD 3D TV in their living room in the next 10 to 15 years. What's wrong with what we've got? I'm still down with VHS, personally.

Okay, so that last bit may have been a little sarcastic, but seriously. My family still owns every major Disney classic animated film on tape, and now even switching to DVD is getting old because of Blu-ray.

We are spoiled. That's all I'm saying.

We are given so many great worldly things to choose from that I think we as a society forget that we once lived without the leisures of Wii on the widescreen. It's not news that we're getting a bit lazy. I mean, come on, the majority of kids in this country would much rather stay inside and play Left For Dead 2 while talking to each other over headphones than go out into the real world and riding bikes. Same with my generation, where teenagers and college students spend their days communicating through twitter and facebook, and blogging on tumblr in the hopes of becoming hipster. I just feel as though most of us have lost sight of so much within such a short period of time.

Well, that was my vent for the day I suppose.

I need to get reading Story of a Girl and finish it so that I can start on The First Part Last for my YA Lit class.

This week, we got into groups to read books that complement classic works. Our group's complement is Scarlet Letter (blehh), which I only chose because Grapes of Wrath was already full, I've never read Jane Eyre, and I didn't really feel like reading anything about censorship (which I have to write a paper on this week for this class anyway) to go along with Fahrenheit 451. So there we go.

I'm making a rainbow cake right now. I need to go make frosting.

Later days.

Song of the Day: "La la la" by The Bird and the Bee

Film of the Day: Driving Lessons (2006). I rented it but haven't watched it yet. I hope it's good.

I Lied To Me Too

My mom got the phone that I wanted 5 months ago but she wouldn't freaking allow me to get.

I'm not bitter.

I bought a candle yesterday for my room. I used to light candles all the time, but it may have just been a phase that passed. Same with incense, though that was a longer, angsty-teen, I'm-cool-because-I-light-incense phase. But I do enjoy a good patuli or nag champa scent in my room. Or sandelwood and rose. mmm.

I made a carrot cake from scratch a few days ago and it was absolutely amazing. I think I'm going to have to make another one soon because it's almost gone due to having family over during the course of the weekend.

I have a paper to write that's due tomorrow night. I need to find an article to write about. Then I have to write a censorship rationale for next week at some point. I also need to figure out how to write a rationale.

Later days.

Song of the Day: "Everyone" by Uh Huh Her

Film of the Day: An Education (2009). This is in a cheap theatre on the other side of town right now. I think I'm going to go see it today at some point. I haven't seen a movie in theatres for weeks. Weird.

Also, in case you haven't figured it out, the titles for my blogs are alway just lines from whatever song I'm listening to when I finish and title each post, not necessarily the same song that is the song of the day.

Bombs Away

I got a letter from Tyler today. Half Spanish, half English.

Good times.

I told my parents that if I didn't have to worry about paying off student loans once I stopped, that I would easily drop out of school and move to England. My step dad said he'd pay for my plane ticket if I actually did it.

It's a last resort strategy, but I won't forget it.

I'm having to read a horror book right now for YA Lit. So my partner and I chose a book with a scary looking cover about a kid that hunts witches or something. We don't even know, we just liked the idea of the large print.

:]

I have a new sketchbook, but I don't know what to do with it. I mean, obviously I'll draw in it, but it's like getting a new journal: you don't want to ruin the newness of it, you know?

I hate looking for a job. The whole process just kind of sucks.

I didn't really have anything in particular to write about today, so...

later days.

Song of the Day: "Gaia Bleeds (Make Way For Man)" by Set Your Goals. I'm in a hardcore/screamo mood today.

Things to look forward to this week:

-Spanish Test (I know, I'm weird, but I really do love that language. And tests for me in that class are super easy, which is a real self-esteem booster)

-Family visiting on Thursday

-finishing the second season of True Blood

-work on Thursday (best part of my week! I love teaching the 4 kids that are in my class, they are so awesome)

-getting back to ceramics (I haven't thrown anything for 3 weeks. And I've already pre-ordered two 25 lb. bags of clay, so I need to get on it.)

-making pancakes for breakfast in about 5 minutes

I really need a good night's sleep though.

And I have a pretty big article assessment thing due for my YA Lit class next week that I need to get started on.

And college apps that I haven't started yet.

The idea of them scares the crap out of me.

Mmk, I'm off to make breakfast for everyone.

Later days.

Nothing and Everything

Skins. My new favorite thing.

Until I watched episode 7 yesterday, now I'm just upset and a little confused. I'm also bummed about another generation of the show, therefore change of cast. I really liked these last two seasons and everyone in them. But oh well. I'll get over it.

Spring break went by fast. It was uneventful and full of, well...sleep, movies, and tumblr. I can't yet decide whether or not I'm regretting this past week. Probably not.

My aunt, Heather (of whom I'm named after, middle name wise), and my cousin, Caleb (the "actor" of the family. I'm not sure why that's in quotations, he really has been in a lot of commercials and played a younger version of that one guy from Avatar in some Paris Hilton movie. He was also the young Jason in the director's cut version of the last Friday the 13th movie. But I digress), are coming up to St. George from Burbank this next Thursday or Friday for the weekend, along with my other aunt, Nicole, and my newest cousin, Bella. And by newest cousin, I mean newest first cousin, since my cousin Kirstin just had a baby boy, Trevor, not too long ago. I'm not sure what he's technically called, but I call him my cousin too, just to keep it simple, considering how many people are in my family.

I feel like this is going to get even more boring than it already is if I don't stop now.

Later days.

Song of the Day: "The Brightest Green" by Anarbor

Film of the Day: The Runaways (2010). Comes out next week in the US, but limited. Which means I'll get to see it when it comes out everywhere in April. I've been extremely excited to see this film for some time now, and it's gotten pretty good reviews so far. And apparently Kristen Stewart does all her own singing in it, which is cool, because she's not bad at the whole rock 'n roll girl band thing as far as I can tell after seeing a couple clips of the movie. Anyway, it looks good, and I look forward to it.

There You Go With Hope Again

I know I've put this picture of Tyler up before, but I've been missing him a lot lately :/

So deal with it.

I've become addicted to tumblr.

Not really, but I'm on it more than anything else lately.

The migraine I woke up with this morning is gradually working its way out of my head now, though I can feel a migraine hangover coming on.

Jenna (Tyler's older sister, and basically my sister) is graduating from Ventura College in May, so I'll be heading down to California the end of that month for that. VC is just a junior college, but Jenna has been going there for like, 4 years now haha, so it's a pretty awesome thing for her to be graduating considering her past struggles with the educational system. I'm very proud of her. I hope she continues to reach for her full potential as a student in the future.

As for my current battles with education, I'm still a little bit weary as to what will be happening to me in terms of college for this coming Fall. I won't know anything for sure until I get either an acceptance or denial letter from the two schools I'm applying to in June at some point.

I want to link to Kayley's blog here, because I really liked what she had to say in it.

I've recently realized that I'm not writing for anyone in particular except for me, and I should always remember that. If you want to read what I write, then I thank you very much, from the bottom of my heart.

Same with watching my videos. The fact that I only have 16 subscribers isn't going to stop me from making vlogs and videos and singin' silly songs that will only be viewed 35 times. The only thing that matters is that I enjoy it.

Three cheers for optimism!

Things I'm looking forward to in the near future:

-Fantastic Mr. Fox coming out on video next Tuesday

-Getting my ALL CAPS stuff after the 28th

-Getting my John Green "pizza" shirt

-making some bad ass pottery next week, including, but not limited to: tea pots, bowl sets, plate sets, cookie jars

Later days.

Song of the Day: "Around Your Neck" by Annuals

Film of the Day: City of Ember (2008). I rented this last night for my brothers and I to watch because Mikie had just read the book and wanted to see the film. He said the movie was okay but the book was way better. I own the book, I've just yet to read it.

We Should Become More Adventurous

I don't go on the computer as much as I generally used to.

This is a good thing, definitely. Maybe my excess internet use has been a phase that's starting to wear down.

I don't have anything to write. Basically, life this week will consist of reading a boring young adult romance novel and finding some scholarly articles for my literature class.

And starting two college applications. Ugh. I hate college applications. One is due May 1st, another is due June 1st, but I'm getting a head start.

I wish I still lived in California.

Later days.

Song of the Day: "A Brother's Lament" by Let's Lumos!

Film of the Day: Stardust (2007). Such a great underrated movie. I need to read the book, though.

My Chemicals and Me Are Going Places

I've decided that I become extremely stressed when I'm asleep. Weird, I know, but it's totally true. Whenever I have something on my mind, not necessarily worrying me a lot, but maybe just barely, it tends to grow in importance in my mind while I'm asleep and I dream about it.

Like crazy dreams that completely magnify the simplicity of unfinished homework assignments.

This has happened to me more than once, but I noticed it fully for the first time this morning when I felt really unsettled about my drawings for school when I felt fine about them when I went to bed last night.

I just thought this was weird. So I blogged about it, naturally.

Song of the Day: "Sleepyhead" by The Reason

Band of the Day: The Like

Show of the Day: Skins. 'nuff said.

Everything That You Hoped To Say

A new month. March. Six months until my birthday.

I spent about an hour talking on the phone with Alex today. It was nice, he said we should do it more often. Especially since he's going to Afghanistan in six or so weeks.

I don't like talking on the phone with very many people. Mainly just Alex, Jenna, and Erin.

And Tyler. But I can't talk to Tyler on the phone, just letters these days.

I finished reading Whale Talk by Chris Crutcher.

Described in one word? Shocking.

But good, don't get me wrong. I don't think anyone under 14 should read it though. I'll let you know more of what I thought of it on my tumblr. It should be up at some point later tonight.

I just checked out Al Capone Does My Shirts from the Dixie State library, so I'll be reading that, plus another book, though I'm not sure which one yet, for this week.

My choices are between The Mysterious Benedict Society and the Prisoner's Dilemma (the third book of the series) by Trenton Lee Stewart, The City of Ember by Jeanne DuPrau, or Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan.

What do you think? Choose one for me and let me know.

I don't have much else happening.

Though I did sleep through my Spanish test on Thursday. But my professor is awesome and let me make it up later that day without consequence.

So never mind.

Later days.

Song of the Day: "Sweet and Low" by Augustana. I was supposed to see them when I saw the Hush Sound in 2008, but the lead singer had just gotten in a car accident so they didn't play :/ But the Hush Sound and One Republic were amazing.

Film of the Day: Lymelife (2008). A good movie with a great cast. Though a little bit depressing, it's worth the watch.