Sore and Bitter

I feel like I don't have anything to write about lately.

When I used to write, when I was a freshman and sophomore in high school, what I wrote was thoughtful (though not good), and I enjoyed writing it. Now I just feel like there's nothing much to take from my mind and type out onto here.

Today I'll tell about my epic fail of a crash that I had this last Thursday. Not necessarily the events that unfolded, but how I felt when it all happened, what I feel when it happens almost every time. Unfortunately, I can recall the thoughts that go through my head at the exact moments when I injure myself more accurately now than I used to.

I'll be honest: this crash off of my long board on Thursday was probably one of the most terrifying crashes I've ever had (I've had many on bikes, scooters, roller blades & skates, and even trikes, but that's an entirely different blog). I was going at quite a high speed out of control and literally thrown frontwards by the laws of physics onto extremely rough and gravely asphalt.
I'm actually kind of amazed that I got off with the injuries that I did. I wasn't wearing my helmet (for some reason I thought I didn't need one. News flash to anyone that rides on something with wheels that isn't a car: You are NEVER too bad ass to wear a helmet) which I will be wearing again from this point on, but, luckily, nothing happened to the face or head region of my body. I am extremely grateful for this, and I'm not sure how that happened.

I'm also not sure how I didn't come out of this with any broken arms (I've had 7 so far in my life), considering how I threw my hands out in front of me to break my fall.

I got some scrapes and bruises on several surfaces of my skin (through my jeans and sweatshirt), what my mom thinks might be some bruised ribs (she's been a nurse for 15 years, these aren't simply just motherly instincts or something, though that would be fine for me too), and a very sore body overall.

I feel blessed, to put it bluntly.

Just as I realized I was being thrown face first into the dark grayish ground, I literally thought "Oh shit", though I didn't say anything legible out loud. But I seriously remember those exact words flashing through my head. I remember sticking my hands out in front of me, entirely out of instinct. Once I hit, I slid several feet, according to my brother. He also mentioned that I looked like I was going fast enough to fly if only I had been flapping my arms fast enough.

Every time it happens I just feel scared. My life doesn't flash before my eyes or anything, but I feel scared for that tiny little moment in time. Then once it's over I just feel shock for a while, with the trace of fear still lingering, then once that's over I just have to wait until I'm whole again and healed.

Maybe it's just an injury, and it was just an accident, but it's grown to be more for me.

But then again I could be thinking way to much about the fact that I'm just super clumsy and break too many bones.

Later days.

Song of the Day: "Sleepyhead" by Passion Pit. Kind of a weird song, but catchy.