During the summer of 2005, I hung out with my cousin Jenna and my good friend Lauren on a daily basis. On the weekends we spent our time at the Underground at night and sleeping during the day. Now that I think about it, I feel like our summer was something out of a young adult novel: Parents were nowhere to be seen, or at least rarely seen, and they seemed like the most pointless part of our lives at that point in time. We made an effort to get away from our homes and our families, to be free and live how we wanted to, regardless of whether or not we were only 14 or 15.
Also on a daily basis was music, most notably Death Cab For Cutie. There were other artists, such as The Shins, Tegan and Sara, and Rilo Kiley; it was definitely the summer of our discovery and love for indie music. The main songs that come to mind are:
That's a good little playlist to perfect sum up that summer and how it felt to us. I'm listening to it now as I write and different memories are flowing through my head.
Just before July 4th three boys came over to my house. Matt. Morgan. Nathan. I think those were their names. Jenna, Lauren, and I were there, no one else. I didn't know the boys. Actually, I knew Nathan, or Nate. But the others, not so much. But I didn't care. I never cared about anything. I just wanted to fit in and be a chill person that everyone wanted to hang out with, which eventually ended up happening, but I soon after realized that having a social life didn't mean I had to disregard the rest of my life.
One of them was smoking on the front porch. I was worried that the neighbors would be suspicious about them, so we all went into my garage, where there was an extra room added on to the back of it. I had painted a giant wave on one of the walls, with reds and yellows and blues. And we had put our hand prints on the wall with paint. There were white Christmas lights up around the edges and an open window with no glass, but only a screen. I had put folding lawn chairs around the room.
It was my place. My spot that I went to where I could be by myself and think and listen to the previously mentioned playlist in peace. Or with Jenna and Lauren.
Another memory is one from about 4 months after that last one. By this time I no longer lived in the house with my garage room, unfortunately. I loved that house. It was in midtown Ventura, two blocks east of Ventura HS, which was a perfect spot for short boarding the hallways. Anyway, my mom got married, our family grew, and so we moved to another house, which happened to be in a completely different city about 20 minutes away.
While living there I didn't make any friends because I still went to school in Ventura everyday, and Jenna was sleeping over constantly. When ever she did sleep over, we would just go into my room and sit, letting incense burn, leaving the one window that could open just barely cracked.
During the day, light came in through the two small windows high up on the wall above my bed, the ones that couldn't be opened. At night we generally would just open all the windows and blinds so that we could see the moon and the stars, and the revolving lights from the tower at the Camarillo Airport would shine in through the little windows every 4 seconds or so.
On one night in particular I remember that we were sitting in the darkness, Jenna laying on my bed and me sitting on the floor, leaning on the side of the mattress and box spring. I was playing my guitar quietly because it was really late, and I was playing the classical songs that I had needed to practice earlier that day. I remember Jenna falling asleep while I played, and I also remember that I could barely keep my own eyes open, but I was enjoyed plucking at the strings so much that I literally fell asleep with my guitar in my hands.
I woke up barely a few minutes after dozing off, but I still remember a certain peace that I felt that night when I was playing. I remember that I could leave the window open because it was so warm out, and we were on the second floor of the house in a gated community, so there wasn't any worry of someone trying to break in or anything. I got up from sitting and put my guitar away, turned on the Death Cab mix that we were still constantly listening to, at a low volume, and laid down on the floor and fell to sleep.
Remembering these things makes me so happy, because I remember being so incredibly happy when they happened in the first place.
So please, dear readers of my blog, get a hold of those songs if you do not have them in your possession already, and the next time you're laying in bed at night and can't sleep, turn on a Death Cab For Cutie song. Lay there and listen to it. Relax. Don't think except to think of good things. Feel happy, feel peace. Close your eyes and just simply be.
Until next time,
Later Days.
